Published inSam’s Storybook·PinnedMourning baby birds as the world opens upIt started with three eggs. Smooth and blue. The kind of blue you only get on mornings without haze or mist or fog. Tucked in a nest left over from last year. Tidied up but structurally old. It was mid-April and I was losing control of my nervous system. (I…Anxiety3 min readAnxiety3 min read
Published inSam’s Storybook·PinnedJulien Baker makes me want to make stuffNB: This essay is best read after you’ve listened to Baker’s Little Oblivions Julien Baker’s music makes me want to move. And I don’t mean like dance, though her new album does do that (help, why am I bopping around to the line: “I’ll wrap Orion’s belt around my neck…Julien Baker5 min readJulien Baker5 min read
Published inSam’s Storybook·Mar 6A body is not a shellI’ve never been particularly attached to my body. I neglect it, hide it, use it as a coat rack. It has always felt like a thing I inhabit rather than something that is me. It’s not a terrible way to view a body. Somehow I’ve managed to escape most of…Essay3 min readEssay3 min read
Published inSam’s Storybook·Feb 27I’m too old to feel this youngI’m bad at imagining the future. I freeze anytime someone asks me for a five-year plan. I don’t know what I want. I just want to be happy. All the time. Here and now. I thought maybe I found a dream apartment this weekend. A place with light and color…Essay4 min readEssay4 min read
Published inSam’s Storybook·Feb 20Checking for missing piecesMy friend Abi told me once I was giving my brain too much credit, that other parts of the body feel things too. I regularly feel the urge to stick a skewer into my chest and pop out my heart. Just look at it a bit. See who it is…Essay3 min readEssay3 min read
Published inSam’s Storybook·Jan 24Ghost hunting on the failed 50th anniversary of RoeI was watching the crowd: The girl in the sparkly white hat sitting on her father’s shoulders; the brothers chasing each other around a marble column; the priest in the rainbow stole; and me, haunted, feeling fingers brush against the back of my neck. I’d felt time shift around me…Wisconsin3 min readWisconsin3 min read
Published inSam’s Storybook·Jul 19, 2022They’ll have to drag me from WisconsinThere is still so much to fight for. — When I was 17, I hated this state. Thought I’d go to college and never come back. Now people keep asking me if I’ll leave. And today this girl said she’s moving to Canada. …Wisconsin3 min readWisconsin3 min read
Published inEdge Crunch·Feb 17, 2022If this is the Olympic dream, we need a new one.The world’s best athletes deserve more than being used for power. — These days I feel a bit like I’m walking in another reality. Figure skating is, for all intents and purposes, the same as it was a week ago. The same as it was last year. And the year before. But everyone is talking about it as if it’s different. If…Olympics3 min readOlympics3 min read
Published inEdge Crunch·Feb 13, 2022The ISU failed Kamila Valieva. Now what?It’s past time to reform figure skating’s governing body — TW: eating disorders, abuse Kamila Valieva, 15, star of the current figure skating scandal, trains at a school full of teenagers. The Moscow school, Sambo-70, has churned out child champions for nearly a decade. For at least half that time, the seemingly abusive training methods of coach Eteri Tutberidze and…Kamila Valieva3 min readKamila Valieva3 min read
Published inEdge Crunch·Feb 3, 2022America’s sweethearts should be a Chinese pairs teamDon’t let nationalism keep you from appreciating greatness! — Over the next few weeks, American news media will flood you with stories about American Olympic athletes. It makes sense. A lot of people are watching sports they don’t really know with athletes they haven’t heard of. It’s easy to just pick the one from your country and cheer them…Winter Olympics2 min readWinter Olympics2 min read
